I was living in the Paris ashram of Le Raincy in about 1983. Our collective meditations started at a ‘reasonable’ 7.30 or 8 in the morning, but I was often unable to get ready on time or would leave before the end. Occasionally our ashram leader would try to help, saying, ‘If you don’t meditate every day, you can’t grow in Sahaj,’ which made me feel even more guilty.
One day I rebelled, ‘Enough of this left Vishuddhi catch! I am not being honest with the Divine because I am not true to myself. Let’s see if I can do what I enjoy and not feel guilty about it!’ So I stopped meditating altogether and went to the movies instead. As soon as I sat in the car, strong vibrations started flowing, all the way to the cinema, and even more so during the movie.
This went on for about four months, and we went to greet Mother at the airport. When the Goddess appeared through the gates there were no words for the magic of those vibrations, Her beauty and Her smile as She walked towards us.
‘Hello, how are you?’ She said from a distance, and said a few sweet words to each Yogi along the way. I was half hiding at the back but next thing I knew, She was walking towards me.
‘Hello, how are you? Oh much better!’ She said, louder and still smiling, then looking around went on, ‘She is much better, don’t you find?’ Then She looked straight back at me with a delightful playful expression and said, ‘What did you do?’ She paused, ‘Meditate?’ and She winked at me.