1998 - 2011Chapter 13Experiences

The feeling that lifted me skyward

This is a personal account of some of the wonderful happenings in Cabella during the Guru Puja weekend, 2008. Tearing ourselves from the rigid conditionings of our mundane, daily life, we cruised into Cabella, tired out by the long journey but full of innocent anticipation. Just entering that magical valley lifts half of the vibrational heaviness from the care-worn soul. This time, it was an ascent from zero to a thousand in a matter of an hour or so. Whatever layers of drudgery that still lay over us were quickly blasted away as we arrived at the castle to find that Shri Mataji was about to depart on a shopping outing.

It’s very difficult to describe the feeling that lifted me skyward as She came out and, before entering the vehicle, looked around at our faces. I can still remember Her eyes, dark and fathomless, as they briefly cast a liberating glance in my direction. Every time that comes to mind, I am once again reassured that She truly knows every detail of our struggle to ascend to Her realm of divine grace. I suddenly knew that She had been with me all my busy weeks and months leading up to that moment, and that She would most certainly always be in me and all my heartfelt actions.

At the puja, we waited quite a long time for Shri Mataji to arrive. My subtle system wasn’t feeling very subtle at all. It seemed that my inner mechanisms were being put to work for a greater purpose, possibly along with everyone else’s. I had almost despaired that I would miss feeling anything light and delightful on this important occasion, but I was deeply gratified to experience a wonderful wave of awakening the moment Shri Mataji appeared on the stage – once more renewing the self-confidence in my higher state. I was further away from the stage than I’ve ever been at a puja in Cabella (out on the lawn near the road entrance, although I usually play drums near the musicians), but near the end, in a state of bubbling child-like enthusiasm, I made my way to the front. It was all so beautiful and – well – heavenly homey!

Shri Mataji had just delivered a forceful talk and, as if to emphasize Her absolute authority, had done so wearing the puja crown.

Edward Saugstad

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