As a melodramatic youngster, there was a short time in the summer of 1987 when I banished myself into the wilderness for not going through with something I thought Shri Mataji wanted me to do, until She called me back in Her own unique way, with Her own light and loving touch. How limited my understanding of Her unconditional love – just as an ant can never understand a human being, how could I understand God’s love? That was when I first learnt I could be near Her when not physically in Her presence.
During this time I did some voluntary work in Scotland. One day I took a lunchtime stroll on my own in the nearby fields. I looked up at the clouds, imagining I could see all sorts of shapes – an elephant, ‘Shri Ganesha’, I said aloud. Then I saw Her holy face smiling down on me and heard Her voice speaking from within my heart.
‘You are alright,’ She said with great kindness, ‘you mustn’t worry – do what you want to do – I love you!’ The vibrations were gushing up from my feet to my head and tears of joy were rolling down my cheeks.
Before the age of mobile phones, I had to wait till evening to call my mum from one of those charming red phone boxes in the village. As soon as she answered she was bursting to tell me her own news. She had woken that morning with a strong desire to see Shri Mataji and was lucky that this desire coincided with Her midday arrival at Heathrow. At the same time as my magical stroll, my mum was standing at the back of the crowds with her bunch of flowers. Mum also mentioned feeling shy because she too had decided to be quietly away from the Sahaja Yogis for a while. Of course, anyone who stood at the back was much more visible to our compassionate Mother (the shepherd more attentive to those lambs out in the cold) who made straight for my mum, greeting her joyfully, asking how she was. Then Mother asked about me, my mum informed Her I was working in Scotland.
‘Very good! Scotland has very good vibrations!’ She said, and taking my mum’s hand held it for a moment and simply said: ‘Please, just tell Danya one thing, that I love her very much.’
When I finally managed to find my voice, the phone box misting up considerably, I was only able to say: ‘I know!’