I will look after your heart

The second meeting I had with Shri Mataji, after the first one at Caxton Hall, was at the flat in North Gower Street. Shri Mataji invited some of us there and asked me to take along seven lemons and seven chillies and I did, but I didn’t know what they were for. There were a few of us there and one by one She would sit us down at Her Feet with our back towards Her so She could work on our Kundalini.

‘Have you been to any other teachers?’ She said.

‘No,’ I said. Then I said that I had been to something.

‘Ah, very bad one!’ She said. I had not even mentioned this name to Her, but somehow She knew that I had heard his talks.

‘His followers are evil,’ She said. I took this quietly inside myself and after some time I saw this was absolutely true. Shri Mataji said I was in a very bad way. ‘You have given your heart to the wrong people. Say “Mother, I give You my heart” and I will look after it for you.’

Shri Mataji vibrated the lemons and chillies and gave them back to me. The older Sahaja Yogis, Douglas, Maureen and a few others, were sitting in a semicircle round Her, and I was at Her Feet. She was asking them what they felt, and they were saying Left Heart, Right Heart, and in a way I felt as if I understood, although I did not know the terminology.  I knew that these people were compassionate. I felt a detached compassion.

Shri Mataji invited me to go to Her house. I went along, with two other Sahaja Yogis and at that time She was staying temporarily in a place off Sloane Square. We went to this house and She worked on me a lot. I had one hand out of the window and the other towards Her.

‘My hand will get cold,’ I said.

‘Don’t worry about that,’ She said.

She asked me about my mother and I explained that she hadn’t spoken to me for five years because I had disappeared off and had been seeking and she couldn’t understand that.

‘Write to her again,’ Shri Mataji said.

‘I did, but she didn’t answer,’ I replied.

‘Just write to her.’

That night I wrote a letter, and my mother answered by return of post. And from that moment our relationship started to heal.

Patricia Proenza


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